Tuc
Tuc is a charming bad boy with a good heart. He’s a little rough around the edges but all in all a nice guy. He doesn’t really care about the divide between crisps and crackers in the city. He just wants everyone to get on, get mad out of it and have a bleedin' good time. He is the absolute ladies man of the northside and is always walking around with a different cracker on his arm. His priorities in life are simple, ladies first, having a deadly buzz second and last but not least Aslan. Tuc is most happy having a few pints of Scrumpy down the local with the lads.

Crispina
A beautiful girl who comes from a very wealthy background. Her father is Mr Crisp a powerful tycoon. She loves her Daddy but is not into money and class as he is. She wants to accept everyone for who they are not what they are. She is a little naive and has grown up with prejudices against crackers. She has never been allowed to mix with crackers. She is a very grounded and sound girl – your typical girl next door character, adored by all. Her wealthy background has not affected her

Mr Crisp
A wealthy powerful man who was born into a lot of money and then made a lot more. He is arrogant and ruthless and will go through anyone to get what he wants. The kind of man who has got his own way all his life. He is a snob and money and class matter to him. Everyone else is below him and his family. He has no time for crackers – he just views then as working class. He loves his daughter but questions her attitude to life. He thinks she is going to mess up in life if he doesn’t sort it out for her. He is forcing her to marry Chip, his number one man in his company MicroChip Enterprises. Mr. Crisp sees a lot of himself in Chip and that’s why he likes him.

 

Chip
He is the rich kid who’s going places in MicroChip Enterprises. He judges everyone on class and money. He’s an arrogant pompous character who is always bragging about his properties abroad, his flash cars and all the easy money he makes on stocks and shares. He absolutely hates crackers – he views them as a lower class and refers to them as scum of the earth. He has never even set foot on the northside. He wants Mr. Crisp’s power and money and secretly is plotting to get it by marrying Crispina and then double crossing him and taking over the company.

Jaco
Tuc and Jaco have been best friends since they were young. Tuc is his idol. They are also cousins and grew up in the same area. Jaco is the funny likeable cheeky scumbag that always has a wise crack. He dislikes crisps because of the way they look down on himfor the way he looks and talks. Although he may look it, God help anyone who calls him a square. He loves nothing more then a battered spice burger and brown sauce sambo and a few pints of Scrumpy. He’s also an awful man for egging Lug on and getting him into trouble.

Lug
Lug grew up in the same estate and has been friends with TUC and Jaco since they were young. He is the butt of their jokes but doesn’t mind. He is your typical dopey thug character who just mumbles instead of talking. He loves antagonising crisps.

Rory
He is Chip’s best friend. They went to a posh rugby playing school together. He is the typical arrogant rugger jock that is very strong and has chiselled features. He hates crackers as well and thinks they are just parasites that leech of the system. “Bloody Crackers”. His arrogance is well known and there would be nothing strange about seeing him dancing to Beyoncé every weekend in Dublin’s most exclusive nightclub Pryngal.

Munchie
Munchie is a bit of a stoner. He is a southsider but knows all the northsiders ‘cause he sells them herbs and spices. He doesn’t give a damn about the crisp/cracker divide. All he cares about are the herbs and spices that he grows. He is always happy and just wants everyone to get along. Everyone likes Munchie. He is like the Dude from The Big Lebowski.

Genevieve
She is Crispina’s best friend and is your typical posh southsider snob. Money is all that matters to her. She thinks she is classy and hot, but beauty is only skin deep with her unfortunately. She is nothing like Crispina and they are only really good friends because their dads are best friends and members of the same golf club. Genevieve is a socialite and after a small feature on her in VIP magazine she is revelling in her new found celebrity status. Whenever and wherever there is a free drink night you will find her there ligging away.

 

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